| Adapted from an online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: My husband and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year. In addition to my family of four (me, husband, two toddlers), we have eight people coming from my extended side of the family and two from my husband’s side. Because we live in a small rowhouse and because I do not deal well with having extended family in my personal space early in the morning and late at night, we have generally adopted a policy that visitors must find housing elsewhere. The exception has always been my little sister, who has struggled financially and actually is a great guest — she cleans more than I do! — so we let her stay in our one spare bedroom. Anyhow, my side of the family has a long history of significant money problems and addiction. Because of this, I haven’t spent a holiday with my brother in something like eight years. He has been very excited to bring his family for Thanksgiving this year, but he started having financial troubles and was maybe going to have to cancel. So I offered to cover the majority of their stay in a rental nearby. My mom and sister now know this because they were involved in the planning. My mom is a tricky and fickle person. I think she is now expecting me to pay for her housing if she comes, even though she can afford to pay herself. And my sister’s family is coming with her, so she can’t practically stay in our one spare bedroom. Going forward, do I now need to offer to pay for everyone’s housing when they come to visit? I now realize I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that I was picking up much of my brother’s tab, but in the moment, it felt like group problem-solving. — Just Trying to Have a Family Holiday | 
