| Dear Carolyn: I have two children, 15 and 18. Their father and I have been divorced over a decade and are both remarried. We share custody 50/50. We do pretty well as co-parents and try hard to keep the kids out of the middle when we do disagree. I recently found out their father and his wife track the kids frequently on an app, both during “their” time and “our” time with the kids. This is bothersome to me for a number of reasons. My son is a college freshman, living in a dorm, and has proved himself to be a reliable, trustworthy, hardworking student. He is thriving at school, and I want him to experience the freedom he has earned. He does not want to upset his dad. To keep the peace, he allows this app. However, I know my son finds it intrusive, especially as his father will frequently text him during the day about his location and activities — making it obvious he is being watched. There is no safety concern here. He always texts back in a timely fashion and has never given us cause to worry. By tracking my daughter, he is essentially tracking me — and, by extension, my husband. There does not seem to be a reason for it other than curiosity. I would never withhold contact from him, I have always kept him in the loop with any travel plans, and I am not worried about stalking. I am bothered that he texts my daughter asking why she is at her current location, or where she is headed while she is with me — during my custodial weeks. He will comment on the speed I am driving. Beyond the concern for privacy, I disagree on the parenting decision to do all this tracking. I have the ability to track my daughter by other means but rarely use it — when she is late to meet me, for example. I don’t randomly check her location when she is with her father. That is none of my business. She is a responsible, trustworthy kid who has expressed frustration at being “spied on” all the time. It feels creepy to be watched. What limits do you think are reasonable to place upon him and the app? How do I address this? What is your take on the use of a tracking app with teens? — Not a Fan of Tracking | 
