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October 3, 2026 
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Good morning. Always-on digital communication gives the illusion of intimacy, but the constant flow of updates doesn’t allow enough breathing room for true connection.
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| María Jesús Contreras |
Slow motion
I received a postcard this week from my friend Sarah, who recently moved from Brooklyn to Queens, where, she reported, there’s less traffic and more raccoons. We’ve been sending each other cheeky updates on the weather or the price of milk in our respective necks of the woods since she moved. We’re only eight miles apart, but somehow also in different worlds.
Postal correspondence has a trapped-in-amber quality that an electronic exchange never can. A postcard from Sarah is a snapshot, a moment in time captured and suspended until I receive it in my mailbox. I will respond with a postcard of my own, in a kind of parallel conversation to our daily tide of text messages, one that accumulates only as much momentum as the rate of the U.S. postal system allows.
There’s a story in The Times today about a pen-pal resurgence among young adults. I read with interest of the renewed fascination with charming stationery and ornate envelopes, as well as the “collective craving for personal connections that build gradually over time.”
As an adolescent, I built a gradual friendship with a girl in Singapore I was matched with via Stickers magazine, the official publication for “kids stuck on stickers.” We probably exchanged a total of five or six letters over a couple of years, but the distance and time gave our bond a sort of gravitas. In the eternity between letters, I’d daydream about what her room looked like, who her friends were, adding another dimension to the written intimacy.
Technology offers the illusion of intimacy. The volume, the pace, the constant flow of updates — they mimic the closeness created by an actual conversation, but sometimes those very things can make a torrent of texts feel hollow. We don’t have that time between communiqués to wonder what the other person is up to, to fill in the blanks with our imaginations.
An essay in The Atlantic this week suggested that one of the problems with dating apps is that the dates they facilitate are hardly conducive to real connection. Far more effective are group activities or hangouts where people get to know one another gradually. Romance, like friendship, blooms with attention that’s slow and undemanding.
A rapport forged by mail is imbued with automatic breathing room. “It’s about moving away from a format of communication that is mediated by platforms and digital systems that optimize speed, convenience and infinite access,” a trend forecaster told The Times. Always-on communication can be too intense, the smartphone too blunt an instrument for the delicate choreography required to really grow close to someone.
I love the idea of making new friends via pen pal matchmakers, but I think there’s infinite possibility in setting up sustained letter writing with someone you already know. Write a letter to your college roommate, send a card to your old next-door neighbor. If it’s been a long time since you’ve been in touch but the flame still burns, then you know the relationship can withstand the rhythms of the post. And when you’re accustomed to no contact at all, even the occasional note is a bonus. If you want to ensure a warm response, I don’t know anyone who can resist a few stickers slipped in the envelope.
Politics
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| An ad that was approved by President Trump and paid for by U.S. Customs and Border Protection. via YouTube |
- President Trump personally instructed his budget director to use taxpayer money for TV ads praising him and his presidency.
- The top super PAC for Senate Republicans pulled millions of dollars from North Carolina, a move that signals they no longer see a path to G.O.P. victory there.
- The world’s wealthiest industrial nations agreed to release diesel from their reserves to ease record-high prices. Trump has threatened to impose a ban on U.S. diesel exports if prices don’t come down.
- Trump is giving Jay Clayton, the director of national intelligence, an additional position: A.I. czar.
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Around the World
Cornell Rape Investigation
- Gov. Kathy Hochul of New York rebuked the handling of the Cornell rape accusations by both the university’s police department and the local district attorney.
- After the woman first reported she had been assaulted, the university offered the district attorney’s office additional evidence gathered by the Cornell police. But prosecutors declined to review it.
- One of the seven men accused of sexual assault sued the university in March, seeking to overturn his punishment and expunge references to the incident from his academic record. (Cornell had found him responsible for attempted sexual exploitation, barred him from contact with the woman and required him to take a class and write a paper.)
- Back story: Times editors discussed the complexity of reporting on this case.
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Other Big Stories
- The U.S. economy slowed in September, adding fewer jobs as unemployment ticked up. Inflation has also kept costs high.
- Christa Pike, whose execution Tennessee botched this week, was unconscious, intubated and on a ventilator as of Thursday evening, according to court filings.
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Our technology podcast is back with a new host, Max Read. This week, Max talks to our A.I. beat reporters about the newest agents, which are somehow both weirdly cute and possibly catastrophic. Click below to watch.
Film and TV
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| A scene from “The Last First: Winter K2,” about one of the final feats of mountain climbing still to be conquered. Apple TV |
- There’s a thriving subgenre of documentaries about extreme mountain climbers, and for the most part, they aim to be optimistic and inspirational. Not this new one.
- The people have spoken: These are the best TV shows of the 21st century, according to 100,000 Times readers.
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Music
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| Bruno Kramm, above, performing with Das Ich in 2023. Yauhen Yerchak/SOPA Images — LightRocket, via Getty Images |
- The German goth musician Bruno Kramm, known to sport bright red horns, pioneered a warehouse-filling electronic style in the 1990s before taking a break to fight for digital privacy. He died at 58.
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- Yendry’s one-off singles won over fans (including former President Barack Obama) and made her a star. Her debut LP, “Como Agua,” is a new kind of statement.
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More Culture
- New York City Ballet hosted its annual fashion gala, featuring none other than Stevie Nicks. The results were ludicrous — and not in a good way, our critic writes.
- Ancient Romans weren’t shy about their wealth. A new exhibition explores the imperial origins of the dyes, fabrics and wigs that helped them show off.
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| The New York Times |
“An artist is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I would absolutely fall into that. ‘I am great. I hope they notice.’”
— Chris Rock, who wrote, directed and stars in the upcoming film “Misty Green,” spoke to David Marchese about hypocrisy in Hollywood; racial segregation and discrimination a half-century after the assassination of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.; cancel culture; and more. Click to watch or read the transcript.
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| David Malosh for The New York Times. Food Stylist: Barrett Washburne. |
Whole-Grain Banana Yogurt Muffins
For a weekend baking project that will give back during the week, bake up a batch of Genevieve Ko’s cinnamon-scented whole-grain banana yogurt muffins. Lightly sweet and filled with fruit and fiber, they’re just the thing for tucking into lunchboxes, toasting and buttering for breakfast, or nibbling as an afternoon snack with staying power to get you through until dinner. They freeze well, too.
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