In your marriage, do conversations (or arguments) often circle around...

• Who sleeps less
• Who works harder
• Who cleans the bathroom
• Or does the dishes

There is a not so invisible competition that can show up in marriage when you and your spouse begin comparing.

It pits the two of you against each other.

And soon enough, you are just waiting for them to take a breath so you can rush in with, "Yeah but here is all that I am dealing with!"

It can destroy your intimacy... so we are talking about what to do about it.

​Listen now >>​

Your 6 Pillars Episode Takeaways

Drop your "but."

• When your spouse shares something hard they are facing, resist the urge to one up them by listing everything you are going through. Just support.

Leave competition out of your relationship.

• Competition is great for game night but becomes destructive when it enters your marriage.

Be real teammates.

• Comparison makes you feel like you are on opposing sides, trying to prove who has it worse. Start facing problems together!

Top Resources Mentioned in Today's Episode

• ​The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Certified Coaching Program​
• ​Join Intimacy Mastery Today​
• ​Apply for Coaching With Alisa​

You know the dance that you guys do.

(Ours tends to show up around laundry, dishes, and busy schedules.)

But when you stop keeping score on who is more tired, works harder, or sacrifices more, you can come together as a team to support each other.

​Listen on your favorite podcast app >>​

Love you guys,
Tony & Alisa

You Don’t Have to Fix Everything

One of the biggest things that happens when people are helping couples is trying to fix everything too fast.

Maybe a couple confides in you about something hard they’re facing.

And instead of being able to sit with them calmly and guide them toward a clear next step, you feel yourself scrambling…

What do I say? What if I make it worse? What if this doesn’t actually help?

Here’s something I’ve been sharing with coaches, mentors, and pastors recently that can take the pressure off:

It’s not your role to fix their marriage or decide who is right.

When you are helping a couple, your role is to help them slow down, see what is happening, and find one clear place to begin.

Next week, I (Alisa) am teaching a free live workshop called:

​Help Couples Move From Disconnection to Clarity​

It’s for coaches, pastors, mentors, ministry leaders, and those who want to help couples with more confidence and care.

You’ll learn how to hear what may be happening beneath a couple’s presenting issue and how The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® framework helps create clarity without blame.

When you're ready, here are 3 ways we can help you...

1. Join the ​private ONE Family Facebook group​. Connect with others in the ONE Family who are strengthening their 6 Pillars of Intimacy® and more. - Tap Here
2. Don’t settle for a “logistics-only” marriage. Transform your marriage from one that is emotionally distant and sexually frustrated to one of deep connection and passion. - Tap Here Now​​
3. Work with Alisa One-on-One. If you'd like to work directly with Alisa to improve your marriage... just reply to this message and put "One-on-One" in the subject line... share a little about what's going on in your marriage and she'll get you all the details.

The ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show has a 4.6 average rating. Listen now on your favorite app.

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