This week’s world-famous-news-haiku-competition™ is all about how Walmart is transforming ordinary store visits into VIP experiences for World Cup tourists. Don’t worry, the World Cup is over this coming weekend, then we can talk about…baseball…or something. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers. (Don’t worry if you get a bounceback email. The mailbox is working, it’s just been inundated with haikus lately, thank goodness!)

And now, news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

Table of Contents

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.79% )   $DJI ( ▼ 0.26% )   $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

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Frenemies Turn Hostile as Apple Sues OpenAI

Ah, tech partnerships. They’re always so full of hope, until the lawyers show up. One minute, you are happily announcing a partnership to integrate ChatGPT into the iPhone. The next, you are suing each other into oblivion. Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 0.63% ) has officially filed a lawsuit alleging that OpenAI $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 0.44% ) has been stealing trade secrets "at every level."

It seems Steve Jobs’s famous legacy of "thermonuclear war" on rivals is back in fashion. Since Apple's own AI innovation engine has notoriously stumbled when trying to develop hit products, CEO Tim Cook has turned to Apple's true area of supreme mastery: Litigation.

At the center of this drama is OpenAI’s hardware chief, Tang Tan. Apple alleges he was involved in a campaign to solicit secrets, encouraging candidates to bring "actual parts" to interviews for "show and tell" sessions. While insiders argue that showing your work in tech interviews is normal, bringing actual proprietary hardware is certainly a bold interpretation of "show and tell” and starts to look like industrial espionage.

Of course, OpenAI claims innocence. A spokesperson defended the company, telling the Wall Street Journal, “We have no interest in other companies’ trade secrets. We remain focused on building innovative technology that empowers people everywhere.” Meanwhile, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman was equally unfazed, posting on X: “I am not afraid of Apple, but I have tremendous respect for them.”

With OpenAI quietly working on a "family of devices" to (checks notes) replace our smartphones, Apple is obviously concerned about being supplanted. Since Siri's long-awaited makeover is literally being powered by Google $GOOGL ( ▼ 1.31% ) now, suing OpenAI might be the only way Apple can buy enough time to build something original.

See you in court!

Quote of the Day

Let's All Fly Our Private Jets to the World Cup

For the ordinary soccer fan, traveling the nine miles from Manhattan to the New Jersey World Cup stadium is a joy roughly equivalent to a trip to the dentist. Who wouldn't love waiting in sunbaked security switchbacks at Penn Station just to squeeze onto school buses with sweaty strangers?

Fortunately, the superwealthy have found a much more “civilized” way to appreciate the beautiful game. Why sweat with the plebeians when you can pay Blade Air $10,000 to helicopter you in straight from your Hamptons estate? Once you land at Teterboro, you can rent an M&A lawyer's private hangar for another $10,000 and take an air-conditioned Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van guarded by private security in matching maroon suits right to your $8 million midfield suite.

At the World Cup, the ultraprivileged can finally just be themselves again. Take billionaire venture capitalist Hemant Taneja, who generously bought tickets for his staff. “We gifted them to many people who work for us and love soccer but wouldn’t be able to go on their own; it’s a life experience for them,” Taneja noted. A saint! Of course, his employees still had to buy their own stadium beers at a modest $24 a pop.

As private investor Hans D. Rearick put it to the New York Times, “It’s the Super Bowl for the ultraprivileged.” Flying his private jet between matches in the U.S. and Mexico, Rearick added with a straight face, “Inequality is taking it right in the face right now.”

Indeed it is, Hans. What is a global celebration of humanity if the elite can't bypass the line?

‘Michael’ Crosses $1 Billion at the Box Office

Just when Wall Street thought the last major independent movie studio, Lionsgate, was ready for the Hollywood scrap heap, the studio went ahead and did the unthinkable. Its highly contentious Michael Jackson biopic, Michael, has officially crossed $1 billion at the global box office. Yes, the same $150 million project that every other major studio passed on because they thought decades of child-molestation accusations made it "too risky.”

Clearly, risky is the new black.