Hey dupa,

For a long time, I took every awkward interaction personally.

Someone didn't laugh when I expected them to.

A conversation fizzled.

Someone seemed distracted or checked out.

And my immediate reaction was:

I messed that up.

It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize something pretty obvious.

People have their own stuff going on.

The person who seemed cold might have gotten terrible news that morning.

The person who walked away might be exhausted.

The person who didn't laugh might just not be in a laughing mood - and it has nothing to do with you.

Now, I'm not saying this as an excuse to stop improving.

Early on, taking things personally actually helped me - it pushed me to get better, to study what was working and what wasn't.

But there's a point where it flips.

Where taking every interaction personally stops making you sharper and starts making you smaller.

You start second-guessing yourself.

You start shrinking before conversations even begin.

The healthier version is this:

Take it personally enough to learn from it.

Then let it go.

Not every flat interaction is a reflection of you.

Sometimes you're just the wrong person for that moment, and that's fine.

Talk soon,
Charlie