| Dear Carolyn: My husband, “Ty,” woke up one Tuesday and decided that after 12 years of marriage and 16 years of being in a relationship, he just didn’t want to be married anymore. He said he wasn’t in love with anyone else but he wasn’t in love with me. He wanted a break from parenting and moved across the country a few days later. Our kids — 9 and 11 — are a mess. We are in therapy together, I’m in therapy, and both sets of grandparents have circled the wagons, for which I’m endlessly grateful. I’m flummoxed on what to tell people who ask what happened. My dearest friends know all the details, but I’m returning to regularly scheduled programming/life. When one of his cousins (whom I knew before Ty, from college) asked what happened, I said he just didn’t want to be in a family anymore. I’ve told my kids basically the same thing — that their dad loves them, and the bottom line is that he isn’t able or is unwilling to be part of the family now. This got back to my husband, and now he’s irate. He’s saying it is far more complicated than that and how dare I speak about it. Is it not my story, too? — Flummoxed |
