| Adapted from an online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: It’ll be a second marriage for both of us. I had a decent-sized wedding the first time around, whereas he eloped — but they were young and trying to dodge family judgment. Neither of us is big on attention or fanfare, but we have three tweens who have all shown unusual amounts of interest and curiosity in how we’re going to celebrate: lots of questions in particular about what kind of fancy dress I will wear. We are not taking their enthusiasm for granted and are thinking maybe it would be nice to do something, actually! But I think I’m out of touch as far as what’s acceptable for weddings after the first one. My mom is very frowny about this. She’s adamant that second marriages should be quiet and private and that anything else is gauche. My intended is cautiously excited but also concerned about costs. I’m somewhere between “We’re in our 40s, we can do whatever we want” and “Maybe we can do it in a way that saves money and feels practical …” I’m feeling a little stuck. What is the protocol for a second wedding? Will our loved ones secretly be laughing at us if we do something bigger than tiny? — Engaged | 
