| Hello, Carolyn: My wife and I are at the brink of divorce after her affair with our married neighbor and subsequent decision, after counseling, to end our three-decade marriage. I forgave her and looked at this as an opportunity to improve what had been a very strong, if not perfect (obviously!) marriage. She first claimed to want counseling but now says “she knew the marriage was over” when she started the affair. Incredibly kind person … she’s just abruptly decided to stop being a pleaser and that I’m the enemy. We are no longer on speaking terms; I simply don’t care to know a person who would treat me like this. Our daughter, 22, is getting married to her longtime boyfriend this fall. He is fantastic. They both are. Most of the guests will be from his family. I committed a certain amount of money to it, I think that’s the right thing to do, but I doubt I’ll have more than a handful of friends or family there. I’m not excited about that or the rehearsal dinner. I know the day is all about them, and I’m very happy for them. My wife clearly didn’t take her marriage vows seriously, but she’s very excited about the day and will probably invite some of her friends … who are no longer “our” friends. Is it possible to put aside these negative feelings that it’s a hoax? How should I approach this day with a better mindset? Is it worth speaking with our daughter about the guest list? — Feeling Negative | 
