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Sometimes comedy sticks with you because it slices through to something true about modern life.
I had that feeling recently watching a bit by Atsuko Okatsuka, a standup who dresses in bold colors and funky patterns, and wears her hair in a bowl cut. In this one clip, Okatsuka says she used to make fun of people who do “basic” things like hang signs that say “Live laugh love.” But not any more. Life is hard, she says. As adults, there’s no one cheering us on. “It’s why we buy necklaces with our own names on it, …so we can be like ‘What’s that spell? Jennifer. That’s me. I matter!’” Okatsuka says. “Yes, you go, Jennifer, be boring! You deserve it!”
What is the truth Okatsuka’s getting at? That these days, adults are pressured to prove their value in society through unique accomplishments, innovations, wit, social media followers. It’s not enough to just be a decent person. And that’s a tough way to live.
Jennifer Wallace, author of the new book Mattering: The secret to a life of deep connection and purpose, says it wasn’t always that way. She says when she was a kid in the 1970s, communities made their members feel valued. “We knew our neighbors. We were a more religious society, we were embedded in this community that encouraged this idea of unconditional worth,” Wallace told NPR’s Rhitu Chatterjee.
The motivation to matter drives human behavior, Wallace says. Studies show that people who feel they’re valued by those around them have better mental health and overall health outcomes.
If you’re looking for purpose in life and connection to others, Wallace says, small acts of kindness really do make a difference — like letting a colleague know you appreciate their work, or bringing hot soup to a neighbor who’s sick.
Wallace also noticed something of a paradox. People acknowledge that life’s challenges feel more manageable with a friend by their side. But many say they're reluctant to ask for support in times of difficulty — to bring others into their “messy lives,” for fear of pushing them away. Fortunately, psychologists say that when you share your troubles with a friend, that vulnerability can bring you closer together.
When you’re going through something tough, fight the urge to isolate, says Wallace. Instead, reach out to people who’ve been through something similar, invite them to coffee and ask for advice. If you feel disconnected from your friends, try inviting them over for dinners or planning a standing lunch date.
Wallace says feeling valued is a practice, and it helps to take stock. She says every night before bed she writes down the answer to two questions: “Where did I feel valued today and where did I add value today?”
Learn more about building up your sense of purpose.
Also: When kindness becomes a habit, it improves our health |
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Fitness TikToker Noah Jay usually posts videos of himself lifting at the gym, biceps bulging. But last year he injured his shoulder, and he said it was so bad he couldn’t roll out of bed or put a shirt on without “major pain or discomfort.” Even when he got back to lifting he struggled to recover, that is, he claims until he started using the peptide BPC-157. He said it made a “night and day difference” in mobility and range of motion, and he’s pain-free.
Jay is part of a trend of wellness influencers taking and hawking experimental peptides, chains of amino acids that are often taken by injection. Different peptides have different claims but some of the most popular ones are: muscle growth, better immune function and slower aging. Most are not approved by the Food and Drug Administration.
Reporter Sarah Boden checked out peptides for our Healthy or Hype? series. She learned that the health claims are largely unproven, and the risks may be serious.
For example, some animal studies suggest BPC-157 helps with tissue repair because it accelerates the growth of new blood vessels. This peptide could theoretically also encourage the growth of precancerous cells, cautions Paul Knoepfler, a cell and molecular biologist at University of California, Davis. Because clinical trials haven’t taken place, it’s not known whether BCP-157 is safe to take, or how to dose.
Some people are buying peptides online directly from online sellers, which doctors warn against. Some of these could be contaminated. Others get a prescription from a doctor like Dr. Amanda Kahn in Manhattan, who says she sometimes prescribes peptides for patients with conditions like chronic pain that haven’t responded to more conventional treatments. Kahn’s patients pick up their peptides from a compounding pharmacy, with the understanding that they’re experimental treatments, she says.
Learn more about peptides and safety risks.
Healthy or hype? is aimed at helping audiences develop a better filter for sorting truth from fiction when it comes to health claims circulating online. Let us know if there’s a claim you’d like to see us research by writing us at: thrive@npr.org.
Also: What's behind the wellness claims for the synthetic dye methylene blue? |
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We hope you enjoyed these stories. Find more of NPR's health journalism online.
All the best,
Andrea Muraskin and your NPR Health editors |
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