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I had my coat on and was heading out the office door when my boss asked me to write this newsletter note. He does this a lot, the inconsiderate so-and-so. If only there were some way I could tell him how I really felt – I dunno, some anonymous note in which to vent my spleen in his general direction.
The Victorians had the right idea: vinegar valentines. Full of spite and grievance, these served as the flip side to the usual lovey-dovey nonsense that you get in mid-February. While loved ones got the “roses are red” treatment, vinegar valentines were reserved for, well, anyone who really ticked you off. Scholarly communications librarian Melissa Chim highlights a bunch of good examples from the archive, including a missive to an obnoxious sales assistant and the puncturing of a pretentious poet.
“Who could be disliked so much that they would receive a vinegar valentine?” Chim writes. “The poor, old and ugly were convenient targets. Unmarried men and women might also receive a vicious rejection from potential partners.”
The practice of sending vinegar valentines died out in the 20th century. And given all the online spite today, that’s probably not a bad thing. But be honest, this Feb. 14, isn’t there that one not-so-special person in your life who you’d really like to say three magic words to, which politely translate to “Please go away”?
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