| Dear Carolyn: Can pickleball destroy my marriage? Seems like a silly question — even my therapist chuckled at the idea. But I am truly struggling. We are middle-aged, working full time, and have two elementary school kids. My husband picked up a pickleball hobby about a year ago, and it has now consumed him. His quest for more medals, tournament wins and a higher player rating has overshadowed his other priorities. He plays 20 hours a week or more — no joke, I’ve tracked it — averaging three hours per weekday evening and four or more on weekend days. I work an intense job, and his pickleball has resulted in my carrying much more of the child care load — pickups, bedtimes, etc. Most significantly, he regularly misses family dinners and skimps on his household duties (piles of laundry sit for weeks), and when I’m busy or traveling, the poor kids are dragged to his pickleball courts until far past bedtime on school nights. We used to have slivers of family time in our busy schedules; now it’s gone. And couple time — forget it. I have no problem with the hobby itself. He has gotten healthier and made friends, and it’s great for his mental health. But every time I bring up that the pickleball and family time balance is just really off, he takes offense, gets angry and accuses me of trying to tell him to stop doing something he loves. Help. I don’t want him to stop completely. But the kids need their dad back, and I need to feel like I have a hubby again. I worry if this goes on, we won’t survive it. — Pickleballed Out | 
