Hi Lot,

It’s Kevin.

I promised no sales emails today. Just a tool.

If you’ve been struggling to say "no" to distractions or bad habits this month, the problem might be your grammar.

In a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, researchers taught two groups of people to refuse a temptation (like a dessert).

Group A was told to say: "I can’t eat that." Group B was told to say: "I don’t eat that."

It sounds like a tiny difference.

But when offered a treat later: Group A ("I can't") gave in 61% of the time. Group B ("I don't") gave in only 36% of the time.

Why?

"I can't" suggests a restriction. It implies you want to do it, but an outside force is stopping you. This requires willpower, which eventually runs out.

"I don't" suggests identity. It is a statement of who you are. It empowers you.

• "I can't miss my workout" feels like a chore.

• "I don't miss Mondays" feels like a standard.

Next time you are tempted to break a promise to yourself, swap the words.

Don't argue with the temptation. Just remind it who you are.

Rooting for you,

Kevin Head of Behavioural Psychology TodayIsTheDay

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