Good Advice: On respecting sick days, enforcing noise rules and revealing past infidelity
Plus, do we need to keep up with microtrends? Ask Vanessa answers.
The Ethicist
January 12, 2026

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This week, we heard from a reader who is struggling with how much to reveal to their new boyfriend about a past infidelity, a tenant dealing with a loud neighbor, and a retail worker whose boss gets irritated by sick-day requests.

THE ETHICIST

Advice on life’s trickiest situations and moral dilemmas.

An illustration of a man and a woman sitting on a coach with a bucket of popcorn. They are in front of a large screen, which shows the woman embracing a second man as a third man stands in a doorway behind them.

Illustration by Tomi Um

Do I have to tell my new boyfriend about my past infidelity? →

ASK VANESSA

Our chief fashion critic answers your burning style questions.

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Everett Collection

Do I need to keep up with microtrends? →

ASK REAL ESTATE

Answers to your questions about real estate.

An illustration showing a man sitting in a residential apartment with many rugs. He’s in a chair holding a newspaper and looking up at the ceiling, which has footprints and other marks on it as if the movements of his upstairs neighbor are leaving tracks he can visualize.

Nadia Pillon

How to make your landlord enforce the noise rules →

WORK FRIEND

Practical, tactical advice on the office, money, careers and work-life balance.

A person wearing a face mask, glasses and colorful scarf hands a receipt to the hand of a person in an orange sweater.

Photo illustration by Margeaux Walter for The New York Times

Why doesn’t my boss respect sick days? →

SOCIAL Q’S

Lighthearted advice about awkward social situations.

An illustration of two hands drawing with pencils. A right hand draws a squiggly red line, while, below it, a left hand draws a row of straight red lines.

Miguel Porlan

My older relatives hurt younger ones with their blunt advice. What can I do? →

MORE GOOD ADVICE

The Ethicist

Should I scrub the evidence that our dad had a family before ours? →

A photo illustration of two black-and-white cows eating fresh, green grass. They are surrounded by question marks in shades of blue, turquoise and purple.

Ask NYT Climate

Is grass-fed beef really better for the climate? →

In an illustration a red figure stands on a pink piggy bank, directing a crane that's lowering a larger coin slot for the bank.

Your Money Adviser

How to make, and keep, New Year’s financial resolutions →

Thanks for reading.

This edition of Good Advice was edited by Ama Sarpomaa, Jessica Anderson and Stefano Montali.

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