|
 |
 |
In one of our recent community workshops in the Present Space we talked about the life hack of showing up scruffy rather than waiting for perfect conditions.
One example was the power and beauty of reaching out to people informally, with a simple message like “hi, love your work!” rather than crafting long perfect emails.
It reminded me of scruffy hospitality, the concept of stop waiting for your home to be perfect before inviting people over. To open your door with the mess visible, letting your guests see the laundry pile in the corner, the unwashed dishes, the honest reality of your life:
Scruffy hospitality means you’re more interested in quality conversation than the impression your home or lawn makes. If we only share meals with friends when we’re excellent, we aren’t truly sharing life together. I’ve often worried that our home might not be clean and tidy enough to host friends, or my cooking not up to scratch – but I have never caught even the faintest hint, from any visitor ever, that any such issues diminished their experience. And I have never been bothered by them at other people’s houses, either. I have, just once or twice, been invited to gatherings in truly perfect, absolutely spotless interiors. To be honest, they freaked me out.
The paradox is that a scruffy home often feels more welcoming than a perfect one. When everything is immaculate, guests feel like they’re intruding on a museum. When things are a little messy, they feel like they belong. A spotless home whispers ‘don’t touch anything’, a lived-in home says ‘make yourself comfortable’.
 |
Maybe perfection creates distance. And imperfection creates connection. Anyway, I feel like embracing scruffyness can be a massive unlock in life.
And I’ve been thinking about how this applies to almost everything: to hosting, to dates, to meetings, to starting projects, to creative work.
Back in the days when I was studying design, I noticed a pattern: the faster I managed to just show up and be a bit naive and make mistakes, the faster I learned. Because every “failure” was a data point. Every wrong answer was a lesson. Every failed experiment was actual progress.
Meanwhile, fellow students who were afraid to maybe look uncool, who waited for permission, who held out for the right moment were struggling—not from lack of intelligence or talent, but from lack of attempts.
I learned the lesson that I followed my whole life from then on: Mistakes weren’t slowing me down. Avoiding mistakes was slowing me down. We have to make better mistakes.
 |
Making better mistakes isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about recognizing that the path to great work starts with imperfect beginnings.
The scruffy version that exists will always beat the perfect version that doesn’t.
A scruffy draft can become a polished piece.
A nonexistent draft cannot become anything.
A scruffy prototype can be tested and improved.
A perfect concept in your head helps no one.
Scruffy Hospitality works because it prioritizes connection over impression. Scruffy Creation works the same way, it prioritizes existence over perfection.
 |
Open your door before you’re ready. Start the Thing before you know how. Ship before it’s perfect. Let people see the work in progress.
I’m still learning this myself and it’s one of my intentions this year to become better at it! There are so many projects I’m working on that are “almost” ready. 2026 it’s time to ship and be less worried about perfection.
We moved into our new apartment in Paris a few weeks ago. It’s still a work in progress and it feels like playing Sims: got a fridge last week, painting the walls this week, new couch coming next week.
It’s beautiful and I feel grateful every damn day, but we are still missing things and it doesn’t feel quite ready yet. And I caught myself thinking: we’ll have more people over once it’s ready… the irony isn’t lost on me, so for this weekend we’re going to host no matter what … fully scruffy :)
Yours,
H
Notes:
All pictures above are from the Paloma Wool Autumn Winter 2025 campaign by Justin Leveritt.
In the words of the Paloma her