| Dear Carolyn: I’m still reeling from a recent breakup but not getting much sympathy or understanding from friends and family. My girlfriend, “Lisa,” and I were supposed to get married Labor Day weekend, but a few weeks before the wedding, I started to worry that we hadn’t known each other long enough and hadn’t lived together. I’d read that two years is the minimum you should date before getting married. We knew each other just nine months before we got engaged in July and were planning to move in together only after the wedding. Lisa’s parents are really old-fashioned that way. I did not want to break up at all and thought we should put the wedding on hold, move in together and get married that same time next year. We were just going to the courthouse, so it’s not like this postponement was a big deal. And we’re both 29, so a year would not be a problem for having the kids we both want. Lisa didn’t see it that way. She gave back the engagement ring and broke things off completely, saying if I wasn’t ready after a year, then I was never going to be ready. Now, when I tell my friends how hurt I am, they say, “Dude, you canceled the wedding, what did you expect?” I did not cancel, I postponed, so that is not helpful in any way. What kills me is Lisa is the one who walked away, but she’s getting tons of sympathy and support. I’m just expected to man up or something. Why are people this way? — Hurt | 
