WorkThe Wages of InsecurityWhat's going on: We already knew the male ego was fragile, but divorce data seems to make it official, according to Business Insider. Some studies suggest that heterosexual couples are more likely to split when the woman earns more, while others find that “traditional” roles — with the man as a breadwinner and the woman as a homemaker — boost a marriage’s longevity. (Someone create a new love language category for dudes: earning slightly more.) Research also suggests that the wider the wage gap, with men on the high end, the longer a marriage lasts. Women who outearn their male partner, however, are more likely to be physically and emotionally abused, a study found. It comes as the traditional wage gap keeps growing, despite other gains toward gender equality in recent decades. What it means: So what’s really going on — are men just insecure? Kind of, but it runs deeper than that. A marriage and family therapist told Business Insider that men often absorb strict gender norms early in life: that they must be the “provider” and “protector.” When a partner earns more, it can trigger resentment and challenge that learned identity. As bell hooks wrote, “Patriarchal masculinity insists that real men must prove their manhood by idealizing aloneness and disconnection.” The resentment can fester when the man still refuses to share unpaid labor at home — the dishes, the childcare, the mental load — despite making less, Business Insider reports. So while some call it a crisis of modern marriage, the data points to something else entirely: It’s masculinity, not matrimony, that needs the reboot. Related: Here’s How the “Womanosphere” Is Changing Conservative Dating (Wired) |