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Most of us grow up with the expectation that we'll come down with a cold, a stomach bug or even the flu, maybe need surgery at some point that puts our working lives on pause. But what do you do when you get sick in a way that won’t go away, even with the best available treatment?
That’s what happened to Benjamin Stein-Lobovits, when he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer at age 32. Stein-Lobovits quit his job as a programmer in Silicon Valley after losing his balance and ability to type quickly. "It's such a shock to your ego, your sense of being as a man," he says.
Men with cancer tend to fare worse both emotionally and physically than women, as NPR’s Yuki Noguchi reports. Evidence shows that compared to their female counterparts, male cancer survivors isolate more, seek less support and die earlier.
Trevor Maxwell says his colon cancer diagnosis at age 41 led to treatments and surgeries that sapped his strength and independence. Maxwell spent months in bed struggling “with deep shame," he says, because of his inability to fill his prior role as father, worker, and husband.
When he eventually started participating in survivor support groups, he met mostly women. So decided to start Man Up to Cancer, a group that sponsors meetings, outreach and retreats for male survivors.
"We've got a lot of people who do traditionally masculine jobs like truck drivers, and then they're also coming to our Zoom meetings, and they're not afraid to cry there," Maxwell says. "And they're not afraid to say, 'I love you' to the other guys in our group. That's the culture change that we're seeking."
Learn more about young men coping with cancer, the latest in our special series Life, after diagnosis.
Also: Men die younger than women. Is it time for a focus on men's health? |
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GeorgePeters/Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images |
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Mallary Tenore Tarpley’s anorexia began when she was 11, after her mother passed away from breast cancer. She was influenced by skeletal models in women’s magazines and lectures about food choices in health class, and started restricting her food intake. "I found that calorie counts gave me some semblance of control in the aftermath of my mother's death; I couldn't control what happened to her body, but I could regulate what I put in mine," she writes.
Tarpley spent much of her teens in treatment. She says that after trying to be the perfect anorexic, she longed for a “perfect recovery.” In her new book SLIP: Life in the Middle of Eating Disorder Recovery, Tarpley, now 40, writes about living in between acute sickness and complete recovery, accepting setbacks while she continues to strive for progress. Her experience isn’t unique – many people who develop eating disorders never fully recover, as Alicia Garceau reports.
The term “slip” is meaningful to Tarpley. She says after learning about restorative narratives, she was able to transition from the black-and-white thinking of her teens and twenties into a more constructive mindset. She says she gets less upset about “slipping” back into her eating disorder. Tarpley began to think OK, I had a slip, rather than letting this turn into a slide, or rather than keeping it secretive, I am going to tell somebody. Tarpley says she’s worked on being more open about her struggle in her relationships, and returned to therapy.
Find out more about Tarpley’s journey, including talking to her kids about their bodies and (increasingly ubiquitous) ads for weight loss drugs.
ICYMI: TikTok bans #SkinnyTok. But content promoting unhealthy eating persists |
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Institute for Bioengineering of Catalonia (IBEC) |
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Embryos are small but mighty, first live videos show
Mpox is still a threat, and spreading in Africa
Survey says: American alcohol consumption hits record low
Influencers criticize birth control and push 'natural' methods. Here's what to know |
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We hope you enjoyed these stories. Find more of NPR's health journalism online.
All the best,
Andrea Muraskin and your NPR Health editors |
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