| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I was pretty stunned last week when my partner told me, in all seriousness, that they think we are “abjectly failing” as parents. I think we’re rocking it! Our kids are loved. They are up-to-date on vaccinations and always have clean clothes. We have pillow fights! We talk about consent! Yes, our house is messy, but a cleaner comes in twice a month to keep it from getting feral. Yes, dinner might often be fish fingers or Wendy’s, but the fish fingers or Wendy’s are always served with fresh veggies. We speak to our kids gently, read to them nightly, take family walks and avoid all screens. When I asked what “successful parenting” would look like, partner said we would “never be stressed, eat healthy food all the time,” and one of us would be able to quit our job to dedicate ourselves entirely to housework and child care. Kids are currently in a licensed, accredited day care. Partner said we should have a road map to the kids’ college careers already in place, including high school placements and extracurriculars, and be exercising daily. All of that is apparently the “bare minimum.” That’s … nuts, right? Are these standards that any parents, aside from TikTok influencers, are actually meeting? — This Is Failure? Read your responses to this week’s reader question We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Column Carolyn Hax and Haben Kelati | | | | 
