Hi lol,

Something I keep coming back to lately is coherence.

Coherence is that feeling when things just come together. In design, it might be a space that feels right, even if the individual elements don’t obviously match. In life, it might be a moment when everything clicks — when past detours and struggles no longer feel like mistakes but start to make sense. It can also show up as a sense of belonging, a quiet resonance that holds a group together, even across apparent differences.

While we often strive for perfection, I think what we’re really seeking is coherence.

Paula, a Joyletter reader, put it this way in response to issue 58, about perfectionism:

We aim for perfection as a way to muscle a sense of coherence into being. We believe that if we just control all the variables and get everything just right, coherence will have to result.

But coherence is a kind of alchemy, and we can't always predict what will bring it about. We can plan every detail of a dinner party, but the conversation can fall flat. We can choreograph each step of our career and wind up successful, yet unfulfilled. Ironically, the more we try to control, the less space we leave for the serendipitous discoveries and combinations that eventually yield coherence.

By realizing that our actual goal is coherence, not perfection, we release a lot of the pressure. And, we open ourselves to the possibility that coherence might come from places we didn’t expect. It invites us to loosen our grip: to experiment, to follow our curiosity, to trust the rhythm of things unfolding.

Coherence doesn’t require flawlessness. It asks for presence. And in return, it offers joy.

Ingrid

One Thing

Reach out first

I used to be someone who waited for others to reach out to me first. If they didn't, I assumed it meant they just weren't that interested in friendship or connection. And, I hate to admit it, but I often took this personally.

But lately, I've been practicing the skill of reaching out first, and you know what? When you put yourself out there more, you get a lot more back than if you just waited. Some of the most loving exchanges and meaningful friendships in my life right now I owe to the fact that I decided to reach out first.

Often, in retrospect I discover that the person I wanted to connect with was in the midst of a tough time that prevented them from reaching out to me, or they were hesitating because they weren't sure whether I was really interested in spending time with them. No one has a monopoly on self-doubt, but sending a genuine expression of interest someone's way is never a bad thing to do.

Delightful Discoveries

​An interview with Hygge & West about the stories behind our wallpaper collaboration (and a reminder that the collection is currently 20% off with code WALLPAPERJOY)

I shared some tips on low-cost summer decor refreshes in the WSJ this week

​A treehouse that went straight on my vision board

​Be available for joy​

Grandpa builds grandma a slide in their house​

I'm extremely picky about sunscreen and this stuff is just beyond. I'm oddly excited to reapply.

Also, was recently gifted this "smoothing" body lotion. Not flashy, just really good.

​A beautiful respite house offers a model for how design can play a role in healing behavioral health challenges

​The book I just finished that will have you seeing magic everywhere

​4 unexpected things to frame​

​Wear all your good clothes​

On that note, I feel like it's my responsibility to inform you that Boden is doing 30% off all dresses at the moment. This one makes a joyful statement, this is just as joyful but highly wearable, and this is a perfect little pop of color.​

​An interesting thread exploring whether values of romanticism are at odds with community (I don't have a take on this, just found it thought-provoking)

On the subtle manipulation of AI sycophancy​

Went on a quest for cute, lightweight pajamas and am loving these

​Jane Goodall on hope​

Quote of the Week

"Whenever we touch nature we get clean. People who have got dirty through too much civilization take a walk in the woods, or a bath in the sea. Entering the unconscious, entering yourself through dreams, is touching nature from the inside and this is the same thing, things are put right again."

— Carl Jung