We have all become used to the notes in hotels informing us that towels will only be replaced if you leave them on the floor or that this is a hotel that no longer allows plastic bottles on the premises – hence the metal object that you thought was an intrusive medical instrument but is in fact an artist-designed water jug. But it’s on a fleeting trip to Copenhagen this week that I see where this might all be headed.

When I get to my room, there’s a flyer on the desk featuring a picture of a smiling lady from housekeeping who I will never meet. Why? Because under her image there’s some text that tells me that to cut down on water and energy use, this hotel is “discontinuing the cleaning of rooms that do not really need cleaning – we believe this is the most sustainable choice”. It seems that you can get garbage removed but only if you call housekeeping by 23.00 the evening before. But wait, here’s another notice that puts a wrinkle in that plan. “We no longer have phones in our rooms – please use your own phone to contact the front desk.” It takes you some time to read everything that the hotel will not be doing during your stay.

The next morning, down to breakfast and you wonder whether Greta is running the kitchen. Above the coffee machine is chalked, “We believe that sustainability is the new luxury”, which could just be a wise pre-emptive warning that the coffee is really bad. There are more signs about animal welfare, the baked beans are some vegan medley and there are chia puddings (also known in my house as the devil’s sperm). Perhaps they are just trying to ensure that the Donald doesn’t come to stay when he lands in Copenhagen for the handing over of Greenland.

Look, people are happy doing their bit for the environment but you don’t want to stay in a hotel that feels like a student sit-in. Or, for that matter, a brothel (unless that’s what takes your fancy on a business trip, I am not judging here).

Because that’s the other kind of in-room hotel messaging that pushes one over the edge – the world of the coquettish double entendres. One of the worst offenders on this front is a group of hotels founded by a man who I like a great deal. Even so, who needs a pillow that has “Let’s spend the night together” printed on it?

If you are determined to go down this route, please go all in and have pillows that say things such as, “What a lovely firm bottom you have”; or “Now that’s what I call a big one!”; or, how about, “I won’t tell your wife”. Or just, “Bite me”.

Overly jolly in-room messages are also risky. That same hotel group puts up signs in its rooms declaring “Life is good”. But how does that hit if you are in town for your mother’s funeral? Though, if you are in line for a decent chunk of the inheritance, or she was a miserable sod, I guess it could work. But really, I just need a plain-white pressed pillowcase.

Anyway, when I go to check out, I’m so caught up by the hotel’s mix of austerity and hectoring that I’m taken aback when they don’t ask me to vacuum the lobby and return to the breakfast room to wash my cup and plate. However, just in case you find yourself in room 334, I promise that I made the bed, used a sock to dust all surfaces and hung up my towels to dry – they should be good for another week or two. Have fun.

To celebrate Monocle’s arrival at 16 Rue Bachaumont in Paris this week, The Concierge is taking us for a tour of our new neighbourhood. For more culinary tips in the ’hood, read tomorrow’s edition. If you’re planning to go somewhere nice and would like some advice, click here.

Monocle’s new Paris café, kiosk and shop is in Montorgueil, a lively neighbourhood with a village-like atmosphere in the 2nd arrondissement, close to the city’s historic market district (writes Claudia Jacob). Kick off your morning with an espresso at The Monocle Café, where you’ll also find buttery viennoiseries made by our neighbours Terroirs d’Avenir and a global selection of the best in print.

Montorgueil is a scene full of snappy dressers. For exquisite tailoring, head down to the neighbouring Rue des Petits Champs, where Nicolas Gabard at Husbands has the sartorial expertise. Or for something a little more laid-back, try Octobre, the sister brand of cult label Sézane. Think neutral merino-wool sweaters and jeans made from organic cotton for a classic silhouette that feels contemporary.

For a cultural fix, there are few grander venues than the domed 19th-century Bourse de Commerce. The city’s former grain repository is easily identifiable thanks to a prominent rotunda that was restored by Japanese architect Tadao Ando in 2021. It’s also home to the private-art collection of French luxury-goods investor François Pinault. Here, you can explore his extraordinary trove of paintings and sculptures dating from the 1960s to the present day.

On the third floor, the father-son restaurateurs behind Halle aux Grains, Michel and Sébastien Bras, have created a menu that – faithful to the building’s original use – incorporates grains in every form. Raw, cooked, steamed or grilled, the dishes spotlight more than 50 varieties, from millet and barley to flax and alfalfa. Even the wine list reminds us that grape seeds are a grain, too. Note the sweeping views of the gothic Église Saint-Eustache and Les Halles marketplace.

End the day in the Hôtel du Sentier, a cosy pied-à-terre with a gem of a bistro, cocooning interiors and distinctive tiling. Montorgueil is buzzing with activity, so if you fancy exploring our new neighbourhood, meet us at Monocle.
16 Rue Bachaumont, Paris

Monocle celebrates a new partnership with Stone Island in New York this week. The collaboration spotlights the Italian label’s Ghost collection, which distils decades of fabric innovation into a series of precisely crafted monochrome pieces.

If you’re in town on Thursday 27 February, drop by Stone Island’s Greene Street shop between 19.00 and 21.30 to raise a glass with the Monocle team, experience the collection and pick up our hot-off-the-press March issue. Limited places available and RSVP essential (contact us at events@monocle.com).

The event takes place at Stone Island, 41 Greene Street, New York. For more on the brand, visit stoneisland.com.

Fashion editor Colin McDowell, best known for his long stint at The Sunday Times, has an extensive back catalogue of sharp critique, wit and bite (writes Maria Papakleanthous). Over his many decades in the fashion industry, McDowell has also been quietly building an enviable library of vintage magazines and ephemera. But he has clearly decided that it’s high time for a clean out because part of this collection is going under the hammer from 18 to 25 February, care of London-based Kerry Taylor Auctions.

“This is my kitchen, darling,” says Martin Willems, owner of Antwerp bed-and-breakfast Boulevard Leopold, in a smiling response to a question about where he cooks and eats his own meals (writes Nic Monisse). The affable Belgian is serving a plate of scrambled eggs at an immaculately set table and is inadvertently changing my perception of the term “B&B”. The label had been tainted by a holiday on the south coast of Wales in 2019 where I stayed in what can only be described as an all-out assault of doilies, cold toast and milky tea. By contrast, this five-key guesthouse in Antwerp’s Diamond District is proving that staying in a room (or suite) in someone’s home and enjoying breakfast with them can also be an elevated experience – and one that enhances your feeling of belonging in a city.

In our image-saturated world, it’s a wise idea to take a step back and appreciate the true art of photography whenever you can (writes Sophie Monaghan-Coombs). Here are three picture-perfect recommendations to help you to do just that.

Julie de Libran is a French couturier based in Paris’s Rive Gauche (writes Maria Papakleanthous). De Libran has worked at some of the world’s most revered fashion houses, including Prada and Louis Vuitton. She established her own label in 2019. Here she shares her sources of inspiration and tells us why she decided to venture out on her own.