Should they move to avoid daughter’s stalker ex? Dear Carolyn: I’m wondering if I’ll have to move because my 21-year-old daughter is being relentlessly stalked by her ex-boyfriend and father of her baby. He was opposed to her continuing the pregnancy and got violently abusive when she decided to have it. He rammed her car with his truck, for example, when she was five months pregnant and drove her into a ditch. She got a restraining order against him and doesn’t want child support or anything from him except to leave her and the baby alone. That order hasn’t stopped him from harassing us and stalking her. His father is on the police force, so they do the bare minimum when we report the violations. We keep detailed logs of all his behavior, which has ranged from trying to get into the hospital when she was in labor, to endless harassing calls (she blocks his number but he keeps getting new ones) and banging on our door all hours, to slashing her tires, vandalizing our home and following her car home from work. The latest was his trying to break into my daughter’s room in the middle of the night. Our dog went berserk and that scared him off, but it looks like he’s never going to stop. Like always, we turned over the logs to the cops, and they said (like every other time), “Call us if he actually does anything to her.” I talked to my sister who lives over 400 miles away, and she thinks we should leave quickly and quietly, letting no one know where we’re going except my boss, who is aware of the situation. She said we can stay with her until we find a new home and jobs there. This is such a drastic step — the cost of living there is much higher, and if I quit I won’t be able to collect unemployment. We can live on my savings for a while and our career skills can go anywhere, but I’m worried about selling our house remotely, and what happens if it takes me and my daughter too long to find jobs? We’ve lived in this town since my daughter was 4 months old; my husband is buried here. But I don’t know what else to do. Is moving the right thing to do? — Worried Introducing Say More, a new advice column from The Washington Post. Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
