Today: How one teenager navigates her parents’ conflicting tech rules. Plus …
Heather got her first phone when she was in the fourth grade. It was after her parents split up, and they thought the device would help her communicate between the two households. It made sense — and it made her feel like one of the cool kids. In the years since, her mom and dad have implemented drastically different policies around screen time and phone usage. “At my dad’s house, he’s definitely a lot more controlling about it,” Heather, who is now 14, told us recently. She uses a burner phone on the weeks that she’s there, and he doesn’t allow her to use social media or download any apps without his permission. These rules, Heather told us, can make it hard to maintain a social life. “If kids don’t feel like they’re trusted online, they’re going to start hiding things,” she says. “Just trust your kids. Be knowledgeable of what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, but allow them to make the right choices.” For the past couple months, editor Signe Brewster has been speaking with kids around the country to learn how they actually use tech in their daily lives. The contradictory sets of rules that Heather navigates in her life are just one example of how vastly different each kid’s experience can be. Auggie, an 11-year-old we spoke with, has a YouTube channel and used AI to build a fitness website. On the other hand, 13-year-old Archer doesn’t have a smartphone yet — and when he tries to call his friends from his iPad, he often finds they want to text instead. (Archer laments: “Why do you need to text? Like, we can just talk, you know?”) But, Signe writes, there’s a constant woven throughout each story: “The desire for a healthy relationship with technology.” These portraits are a part of a larger package we published earlier this week focused on the different ways families are navigating the of role technology in their lives. As another school year begins, we hope you’ll find something in these stories that’s helpful for you and your own family:
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There are countless ways that families navigate relationships with tech. Here are some of the approaches our readers take:
During a recent visit to my parents’ house, I caught them carefully hand-washing wine glasses after dinner. I reminded them that not only can you put the glasses in the dishwasher, they’re actually much safer there. And if you’re using the right detergent, they’ll come out sparkling.
Landlines might feel a bit dated. But for parents trying to figure out when to get kids their first devices, this no-frills Wi-Fi-enabled phone offers the ability to call family and friends, make plans, and even, yes, prank call — all without a screen. The pleasures of a “landline”→
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