Welcome to my feminist advice column. For those of you who want to write me a letter, you can fill in THIS FORM directly. I will answer your question in a letter here in about a month (or potentially more, my backlog is a bit crowded, sorry!).
I’m also running a new survey on waiting in relationships and I’d love your input. You can fill it in here. Thank you!
“I’m scared that my desperation is making me a target of abusers. I’m been through so much disappointment with men that I sometimes hardly see the point in trying anymore. But I know that I do want to settle down with someone and build a life and a family with them. I know a few happy couples so I know it’s possible. After every heartbreak I feel so exhausted I don’t even want to try anymore but then a seemigly nice man comes along and draws me out of my defensiveness. I think why not give him a chance and as soon as I know it here I am 2 or 3 years later with another story of abuse freshly over. I want to find my significant other so much but I worry that abusive men can somehow smell my desperation and prey on it. I can’t explain why they seem to target me more than any other woman I know if not for this extra sense to sniff out just how much I want to find the one.”
