I meant to reply sooner, but the afternoon got away from me and I just now sat down. I checked the notes from yesterday and I think the easier plan is to keep the first version simple, test it once, and then settle the details after everyone has had a chance to look at it.

I would not overthink the timing. If today feels rushed, tomorrow works just as well, and it gives a little breathing room for the small edits that always pop up at the end. I can review everything again in the morning and send back a tighter list if that helps.

Also, thanks for flagging the wording issue. You were right to catch it. I think a cleaner tone will make the message easier to understand without changing what needs to be said. Let me know when you want me to take another pass, and I will make time for it.

I looked over the draft while I was waiting for the kettle to finish, and the overall shape seems solid. The middle section still feels a little crowded to me, though, so I would probably trim a sentence or two before sending it around again. That usually helps people focus on the main point instead of circling the side details.

I am around later this evening if you want a quick second set of eyes. Just send it when you are ready and I can mark the parts that feel clear versus the parts that stumble. I do not think it needs a major rewrite.

The good news is that the tone already sounds much calmer than the first attempt. It reads more confident now, which makes a big difference. If you keep that voice and tighten the structure just a little, I think it will land smoothly for everyone who sees it.