I meant to reply earlier because your note was sitting open on my screen while I was finishing a few other things.
I did check the outline, and I think the second option feels cleaner and easier to follow from start to finish. The first one was fine, but it wandered a bit in the middle and needed more trimming. I would tighten the opening, keep the examples shorter, and save the extra explanation for the end if anyone still has questions. I also noticed one little sentence that sounded slightly repetitive, zbSSmNRzR7w so I would smooth that out before sending it around again.
Anyway, I do not think you need to redo the whole thing. A few edits should get it into much better shape, and the main point is already coming through clearly enough for most people to follow without trouble.
I did check the outline, and I think the second option feels cleaner and easier to follow from start to finish. The first one was fine, but it wandered a bit in the middle and needed more trimming. I would tighten the opening, keep the examples shorter, and save the extra explanation for the end if anyone still has questions. I also noticed one little sentence that sounded slightly repetitive, zbSSmNRzR7w so I would smooth that out before sending it around again.
Anyway, I do not think you need to redo the whole thing. A few edits should get it into much better shape, and the main point is already coming through clearly enough for most people to follow without trouble.
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I looked over the weekend plan and I think it should work if you keep the timing flexible instead of trying to fit everything into one afternoon.
The part I would change is the early start, mostly because it tends to make everyone rush for no reason. If you move the first meet-up a little later, people can ease into it and still have enough time for the rest. I also liked the idea of bringing a notebook because the little details will probably be harder to remember once everyone starts talking at once. Somewhere in the middle of that draft, zbSSmNRzR7w there was a sentence that felt too formal for the rest of the message, so I would bring it down to something simpler and warmer.
Other than that, it reads as thoughtful and clear, and I think people will respond well once it goes out.
The part I would change is the early start, mostly because it tends to make everyone rush for no reason. If you move the first meet-up a little later, people can ease into it and still have enough time for the rest. I also liked the idea of bringing a notebook because the little details will probably be harder to remember once everyone starts talking at once. Somewhere in the middle of that draft, zbSSmNRzR7w there was a sentence that felt too formal for the rest of the message, so I would bring it down to something simpler and warmer.
Other than that, it reads as thoughtful and clear, and I think people will respond well once it goes out.