| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I raised three kids in a very rural area. I home-schooled them while my husband made a living for us traveling all over the region, which meant I was frequently home with the kids alone. Two kids started their lives in a city a longish drive away. One kid is a plane ride away. They don’t show any signs of returning. My husband is home now all the time and I’m realizing this life isn’t something I can do for the next 25 to 30 years. I have no alone time, yet it is just the two of us all the time. Kids’ activities and sports have stopped, so we don’t see other people enough for me and I’d like to be able to enjoy a play or go see some music or just grab a beer around the corner. I’ve suggested getting an apartment in the city where two of our kids live and I could go on my own for a week here and there if he didn’t want to come. Poor guy, he looks completely bewildered. I realize we were on autopilot for years raising kids and then taking care of his parents, so we didn’t talk much about the future and what we wanted. He wants nothing different from what we have. It has been his dream to just be home, no traveling. I don’t know where to go from here. He refuses to go to therapy and waves me off when I want to talk. It feels like my own wants — need? — will destroy our marriage. — Planning | 
