Happy Thursday, N2K reader!

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is, in somewhat timely news, about the Supreme Court ruling that emergency powers don’t cover imposing tariffs. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

There’s also some news you Need2Know. Let’s get to it…

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.81% )   $DJI ( ▲ 0.63% )   $NDX ( ▲ 1.26% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$NVDA ( ▲ 1.41% )   $GOOG ( ▲ 0.68% )   $AMZN ( ▲ 1.0% )   $CAVA ( ▲ 26.36% )   $AXON ( ▲ 17.55% )   $FSLR ( ▼ 13.61% )   $LOW ( ▼ 5.59% )   $META ( ▲ 2.25% )   $GOOGL ( ▲ 0.64% )  

Who won the State of the Union Rorschach test?

President Donald Trump’s 2026 State of the Union was a marathon political inkblot. Clocking in at a record-breaking 108 minutes — the longest in history — the address was interpreted as either a "Golden Age" manifesto or a "fictional" narrative. Bloomberg responded by rounding up inflation data since 2020:

The speech highlighted staggering, if contested, metrics. Trump touted a 56% drop in fentanyl flow but provided no evidence, and claimed the murder rate hit a 125-year low. Experts say it is impossible to know how much more or less of an illicit drug is getting into the U.S., while crime data shows that violent crime continued to decline in 2025. But the trend began in 2022 after a spike in crime, particularly murders, in 2020 — the year the pandemic began and the last year of Trump’s first term.

The president also faced, let’s say, scrutiny, for claiming without any basis that he secured $18 trillion in global investment commitments — a figure representing nearly 60% of U.S. GDP. A White House website tallying such promises puts the total at $9.6 trillion for “U.S. and Foreign Investments,” but provides very few details on these agreements.

The reactions were predictably split. Senator Markwayne “TwoNames” Mullin (R-OK) praised Trump as a "fearless patriot" leading a "turnaround for the ages." Representative Byron “I’m Running for Governor” Donalds (R-FL) echoed this, saying that the "Economy [is] BOOMING."

Conversely, if not surprisingly, Democrats saw a different reality. Governor Abigail “Spanner in the Works” Spanberger (D-VA) argued "we did not hear the truth," warning that new tariffs could cost families $1,700 annually. Representative Raul “RR” Ruiz (D-CA) was sharper, suggesting Trump deserves a "Nobel Prize for fiction.”

With inflation at 2.4% but 72% of Americans still rating the economy as “poor,” the 2026 SOTU remains a test where the winner is really up to you, dear reader. Get your feelings out in today’s poll.

Tech leads day two of a stock market rally

Wall Street rallied for the second day in a row on Wednesday as tech giants propelled the market [checks notes] upward, with Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 1.41% ) leading the charge ahead of its highly anticipated earnings report. Often considered a bellwether for the U.S. stock market, it climbed 2.3%, boosting expectations as analysts forecast its profit to surge by nearly 70% year-over-year, reaching a staggering $37.52 billion.

Reflecting on concerns over the ongoing AI boom, Darrell “Mr. Stonks“ Cronk, chief investment officer at Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management, noted, “While those concerns are real, we believe investors would be wise to balance them out with offsetting trends that may be underappreciated.”

So: Your guess is as good as mine, mate. That’s how you feel about the markets, too, it turns out, from yesterday’s poll.

Nvidia’s dominance underscores AI’s growing influence on the market, as companies like Alphabet $GOOG ( ▲ 0.68% ) and Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 1.0% ) continue investing heavily in AI tools and chips.

Outside the AI spotlight, smaller companies also made waves. Cava Group $CAVA ( ▲ 26.36% ) , a fast-casual Mediterranean restaurant chain I’ve never heard of — except for when border czar Tom Homan accepted what appeared to be a $50,000 “gift” in a Cava bag — surged 24.3% after surpassing $1 billion in annual revenue for the first time. I now wish I’d heard of them last week, frankly.

Axon Enterprise $AXON ( ▲ 17.55% ) also soared 18.2%, thanks to strong earnings for its AI-equipped body cameras and Tasers, and we don’t want to think too hard about why those items are now in such high demand. On the flip side, First Solar $FSLR ( ▼ 13.61% ) plunged 15% due to disappointing earnings, while Lowe’s $LOW ( ▼ 5.59% ) fell 4.7%, as CEO Marvin “Neither Larry Nor David” Ellison cited pressure across the broad housing market.

Quote of the Day

Maybe watch the Beast Games finale!

The season two finale of Beast Games is here, and according to co-creator and showrunner Sean “The K Spot“ Klitzner, it "won't disappoint." The team has actively worked to elevate the experience, moving past random challenges to make this season "really skill-based.”

Klitzner promises a truly climactic episode for viewers, sharing that the finale is “going to close a lot of loops” and is “not just a, you know, boring finale episode, there’s a lot that happens.”

So, that’s good.