Have you ever found yourself in a high-pressure situation and suddenly you’re saying things you don’t even believe?
Maybe it was in a job interview or when you were trying to impress someone.
You walk away, thinking:
“Where did that come from? Why did I even say that?”
I’ve noticed this in myself and others…
It’s easy to lose track of what’s true for you when the stakes are high.
You get so caught up in wanting a certain outcome that you forget who you are.
And in those moments, the pressure can cause you to say things that don’t align with your true self.
I’ve been there…
Over the years, I’ve tried all kinds of techniques to stay true to myself, and some have helped.
For example, I used to go into situations with a game plan:
Specific phrases I’d repeat, or numbers I’d write down to anchor myself in negotiations.
And yeah, those things helped, but I realized they were only protecting me from the worst-case scenario.
They didn’t necessarily lead to the best outcome.
So here’s what I’ve found that really works:
Core referencing.
It’s a simple technique, but it’s not always easy to do, especially when you’re under pressure.
What you do is take a deep breath and focus on the center of your body…
Often right around your rib cage, where your heart is.
Then imagine a vertical line connecting that center point down to the base of your spine and up to the top of your head.
Once you’ve located it, ask yourself:
“If this center line could speak, what would it say?”
The more you practice this, the quicker it becomes.
Whether you’re in a tough negotiation, on a date, or even just having a conversation that’s starting to go off-track, you’ll be able to return to that place of authenticity almost immediately.
That’s the power of core referencing.
It’s helped me stay true to myself in conversations and even saved me in difficult negotiations.
You’ll be surprised by how simple yet effective this is.