Empathy at work matters, but expressing it in the wrong way can leave people feeling unseen or even burned out. Effective leaders practice “wise empathy”: responding with emotional intelligence that fits the specific situation. Here’s how to do it.
Read the emotional context. Before reacting, take a moment to assess what your employee is experiencing. Are they discouraged, excited, overwhelmed? Learn how different team members express emotions. Some show them loudly, others quietly. Slowing down helps you choose the right response.
Regulate your own emotions. Don’t let others’ feelings overwhelm you. Pause, breathe, and remember that their experience isn’t about you. Emotional regulation keeps you grounded and better able to support them without absorbing their stress.
Choose the right empathy mode. If the emotion is negative, show care by demonstrating compassion without taking on their distress. If the emotion is positive, then share by celebrating with them and amplifying their energy. Pick your response based on the emotion at hand.
Check how it lands. What matters isn’t your intent—it’s their perception. Ask for feedback on how your support is coming across and adjust as needed.
Reflect and recalibrate. After emotional conversations, take stock. Did your response help? How did you feel after? Use those insights to build your skill over time. |
