When an overwhelmed, overworked mom says that she doesn't want to always have to make a list first in order for her partner to proactively do household tasks they are often met with:
“You can't expect your partner to read your mind.”
Here's why we're no longer entertaining this cop out.
Having an adult-level awareness of what tasks need to be accomplished in the home at any given moment isn't magical, out-of-reach ability that women are just naturally “better at” than men.
It's about using your brain, opening your eyes, and actively noticing, for yourself, what needs to be done.
And then doing it.
And if you're unsure - make an educated guess for yourself and then communicate your decision/the tasks you've taken care of to your partner. Not because she's ultimately “in charge of this stuff," but because good communication is a part of how you co-manage a home together effectively.
When an adult partner defaults to:
“I can't be expected to read your mind"
It's basically saying:
“Meh. I'd rather not, but Ima need you to keep doing it for everyone.”
OR…
“It's easier for me to just pretend that being able to notice what needs to be done at home is really difficult even though it's actually just a basic life skill that I'm fully capable of.”
If you're an adult who can make proactive decisions…
- while at your job…
- while playing sports…
- while deciding who to draft for your fantasy team…
- while researching stuff for your favorite hobby…
…You're an adult who can make proactive decisions at home without needing a woman to make you a list, first.
Noticing what needs to be done in the home, without waiting to be asked is a basic life skill.
Not a gender role.
