New Podcast: Comparing Yourself to Others, Solved

We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like sh*t. But why do we keep doing it? In this episode, Drew and I dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity.

We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others’ is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you.

Listen to Comparing Yourself to Others, Solved

Free Guide: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

If the Solved podcast episode isn’t enough, or you just prefer to read, this companion guide was made for you.

In it, you’ll learn exactly why we compare ourselves to others—and what to do when those comparisons start to mess with your mood, your motivation, and your relationships. You’ll find a no-fluff breakdown of the key drivers behind social comparison, plus mindset shifts and action steps to stop spiraling and start building real confidence and connection.

If you’ve ever felt jealous seeing a friend succeed, and if that made you feel like crap, this guide is for you. It’s free, and you can get it in just one click below.

​Download your free Solved Guide​

LAST WEEK'S BREAKTHROUGHS

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to pick one belief you’ve never questioned and ask: “What if I’m wrong?”

Our first reader left her echo chamber:

“One word my story revolves around is: Echo chamber.

It was seen as a disrespect to disagree with my family, growing up. Disagreement led to arguing with my father which led to ridicule, punishment, and isolation. I was the black sheep in the family so at times it felt like my whole presence was a giant nuisance. It didn't help that I was adopted, dressed in a rebellious way compared to my sister, or that my parents were superficial introverts.

My self-esteem damaged up until my mid-20s, I was a doormat for people in conversation. I constantly agreed, people-pleased and saw sides of them that made me not want to stay connected.

Finally, I met a man on a date (currently fiancé) who changed my whole world. We had opposing politics, world views, and for some reason while we disagreed a lot on everything, he was persistent for my attention.

‘Your family and you like living in an echo chamber.’ This line led to a lot of resentment towards him, but also realizations.

How damaging the effects are when you can't handle disagreements and how horrifying when it bleeds into other parts of life. Without being able to disagree we have no individualism, nor voice to speak up. How does one grow without being challenged, when someone says ‘Hey, you're doing this wrong’? My friend groups withered because I couldn't disagree with how they treated me. From this I grew and now feel a confidence in myself that wasn't there before.”

Mary is letting herself be wrong about her daughter:

“I have a neurodivergent teen who won't take meds, and won't listen to advice or follow through on her promises. It continues to be a hard road, but I am learning to let go of my plans for her, giving her the space to fail and trust that one day she will figure things out.

There is a lot of grief for 'what could have been' associated with this journey, as well as anger that she cannot get her act together.

But I am finding a freedom in realizing that her life is hers, it is not mine. There is a freedom in stepping back from the belief that I am only a good parent if my child is checking all the expected boxes on time. Not to say that it doesn't hurt; sometimes the silliest things hurt a surprising amount: no prom pictures or high school grad pictures when everyone else was posting their kids' successes felt like a massive failure.

Letting go of expectations, I find myself more able to accept the ‘failures’ and I think she feels more accepted.

There is still a long road ahead, but I hope with my acceptance that she is on a different path than I had expected and hoped, both our paths will be a little smoother.”

Finally, I asked our community members for their breakthroughs at the end of October’s Resilience, Solved Course, and Joshua realized he’d approached resilience all wrong:

“My biggest shift is: knowing when to rest and when to press the gas.

Before Resilience Month, there were many days I just wanted to press the ‘tap out’ button—not commit to my personal projects, stop job seeking, stop waking up early, stop working out.

When I decide to press the ‘tap out’ button for several weeks, I end up feeling depressed and hopeless. My resilient muscle ends up feeling weak and the thought of doing any small thing feels like it’ll crush me.

But since doing the hard things consistently, I notice that my mindset is shifting to: ‘I can do these hard things,’ and ‘I know this is hard right now, what do you need to take good care of yourself—even if it’s resting or taking the smallest step towards your fear?’

When life gets really hard, rather than resisting it by immediately grinding super hard or flying away, I feel like I can lean into it easier. I know when to rest and when to press the gas.”

Joshua is only one of a hundred members who shared life-changing breakthroughs from October. This month, we’re tackling Friendships. So if you've ever wondered why it’s so hard to make friends these days, you might want to check out our community in one click here.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast – My Community