LAST WEEK'S BREAKTHROUGHS

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to do something nice with or for a friend instead of pouring all your energy into romance.

Our first reader Christina is stepping up, literally:

“I have a friend who is bravely and confidently running for school board as a liberal in a conservative district. She sees a need for change and decided not to wait for someone else to step up. I am an artist and introvert who avoids confrontation, small talk, and strangers. I decided to offer my help, and tomorrow I’ll be standing at one of the polls with signage and handouts. If she can take a stand, then I can withstand discomfort and be a friend.”

While Brenna told her college gang how much she appreciated them:

“I traveled into NYC to see a play this weekend about two friends who started out as pen pals, and maintained a strong relationship over the span of 40 years from two different countries. First loves, pregnancies, and life events came and went, but their friendship remained consistent. I cried so much during the play, and I immediately texted my four-person group chat that I've had since college about how much I love them and how much I can't wait to grow old with them. All four of us girls are single, and we have all channeled our own ‘Sex and the City’ archetypes. As much as we all want to be in a relationship and have our own families, I am grateful to have three women who I can tell everything to and will support me in anything.

We constantly reminisce on the days when we lived five feet from each other, and it was so easy to hang out with each other all day, every day. Unfortunately, as it goes with your college friends while navigating our own busy lives, we are only able to see each other a few times a year. We have to be more intentional about how we spend our time together, but it makes it all the more special when we see each other. Still, we text each other every day, pretty much all day long. We start our mornings by sending each other our NYT games answers, and then progress through and tell each other funny work stories, or videos of our thrift store hauls.

While I am single and looking, I feel fulfilled knowing I have these prominent relationships that I will have for the rest of my life.”

Finally, over in our Solved Membership community, I asked members to share something nice they did for others. Here’s Abby:

“I filled two Halloween mugs with candy and secretly put one on the desk of two people at work who often fly under the radar and maybe needed to feel some belonging.

My local grocery store hires baggers with special needs, and I realized this week that I have learned all of their names over the past year or so. I always greet them happily by name and ask them how they are/what’s new. On my last visit my bagger, Lauren, was sharing that her mom has cancer and how scared she was. I think because I was kind of familiar to her she shared that, which enabled me the amazing opportunity to make her feel seen and fill her up with some encouragement.

I feel like Covid gave me effort-making paralysis and only in recent months I’ve been able to recognize it, name it, and realize the emptiness that it created. Ramping back up into the wonderful world of making efforts for the people in my life has been almost like a re-introduction to myself.”

Friendship isn’t found, it’s made. And if Abby’s acts of kindness have inspired you to give more of yourself to others, you’ll be right at home in our Friendship, Solved Course, over in the community. See you there?

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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