| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My spouse and I are in our early 70s, married 25 years and living in a large suburban area. She stopped driving six months ago because of bad eyesight. I volunteer delivering meals and at the animal shelter and serve on a county commission. I also take classes at the gym three days a week. These activities give purpose and meaning to my life in retirement. Spouse is an introvert and doesn’t want to do these things with me. Spouse doesn’t understand why I have so many friends, has no friends and thinks people don’t need them — they’re too much trouble. Now she wants me to quit all my activities to be available to drive her to appointments and errands. Spouse does NOT have any other chronic illness except poor eyesight. Spends the day playing video games and watching TV. I’ve said I’m available all day Mondays and before noon other days. But my spouse says she needs rides at other times. And that my schedule is too complicated. Spouse refuses to take taxis when I’m not available, saying they’re too expensive. Spouse has $10 million in investments. (We married in our late 40s and kept our finances separate.) I think spouse is being ridiculous and said she should spend the $20,000 she got for selling her car on taxi rides. She says that’s a waste when I could and should be doing it. Spouse says I’m being a bad spouse not to quit activities to care for her. She doesn’t need assisted living care, she just wants free taxi service. Suggestions for how I should navigate this? — Frustrated Spouse Read your responses to this week’s reader question We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question Column Carolyn Hax and Haben Kelati | | | | 
