There's nothing I hate more than physical retail.

Mostly it's an OCD thing... I've got to find the perfect thing. If it's clothing, it's got to fit exactly right and...

At this point I do all my shopping online. Where I can do research ad infinitum. Too much, but at least I get what I want. I know, I know, you can return stuff, but that's a pain in the rear end.

As for settling for good enough...THA'TS NOT ME! I need the best. And the best isn't always even more expensive, you just need to know what to buy.

And I always buy the best footwear. Nike. Now New Balance. No imitation for me, no equivalent to Thom McAn instead of Stride Rite, if you can remember your single digit days.

So...

I'm going somewhere where I need slip-on shoes. I've got to take them off and put them back on multiple times. So, I decided to investigate Skechers... It's a mid- level brand, then again it's become a juggernaut and I've seen all those ads where you can step on the heel and slide right in.

They don't make those anymore. But I didn't find this out until I went to the retail store and they told me.

Now they make slip-ons, but not the crunch slip-ons, they haven't made those for two and a half years. Are they coming back? The help wasn't sure.

So let's get this straight... I drove to the physical store because I wasn't sure exactly what size I was in Skechers. And like I said above, I don't want to go through the buy and return process online.

So... It's late in the afternoon, there's no one there. Well, one customer. As for help? Nowhere to be seen!

But after waiting the better part of ten minutes, a guy shows up and I ask him what's the difference is between all the shoes.

And he asks me what I'm going to use them for...

A reasonable question. I say walking, I want a cushy sole.

Let the games begin!

They've got a zillion styles. And this guy can't tell me the difference.

Finally I decide to do it by process of elimination. Try on two different models, pick the better one, then compare that one to the next one until I find the one I want.

He disappeared for so long I think he went to the factory to get them, but he eventually came back and I found out the sneakers were true to size, and I liked the cushioning in one better.

Great.

Then he left me to take care of a sale. Which he was still doing when I exited the store twenty minutes later. I mean how hard is it to do? You swipe your card and..?

And now a woman comes out of the back. She's wearing the Skechers shirt, but she's not coming over to me.

So I go over to her.

And I start asking her the difference between the shoes...

And that's when I realize she knows less than the first guy.

And I'm thinking they're not that expensive, and the first ones worked, but I was interested in their arch support shoes, for stability and I told this woman and she spoke in gobbledygook, I mean some shoes said Arch Fit right on them! So I just pointed to a pair to try them on.

Hmm... I'm not sure if I need the arch support or not. But one thing is for sure, I want a shoe with more cushioning than this one.

She says they don't have any. Huh? I can see them all on the wall.

But she says they're all wides...

Then again, that's what the first guy said before he brought out the right ones, that they only had them in wide, which is too wide for me.

And all this time I'm trying to go to the website on my phone. But I'm in a mall and there's no access. Says they have wi-fi, but good luck connecting.

Meanwhile, the music is blasting so loud I can barely communicate with these people. Then again, they did play the Spinners' "Rubberband Man," so it wasn't a complete loss.

Then I'd had too much, I was overloaded. I was going to have to go home and study the website, and buy them from there, if at all. I mean at least online they've got all the INVENTORY! (And these definitely weren't commission salespeople.)

What do I always tell you?

DISTRIBUTION IS KING! No matter how good it is, if you can't buy it, it doesn't matter.

CVS? Walgreens? You're better off buying from Amazon, because they've got all the items in stock!

As for the help... They don't pay anybody so no one is any good.

I go to this ski shop in Vail that charges top dollar. You can save $75 to $100 on everything if you want to. They go by MSRP, "Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price," as opposed to MAP, "Minimum Advertised Price." Even the websites of the manufacturers go by MAP.

However, at this shop the employees are lifers. They don't stock everything, only what's right. I went against the salesman's advice once, I'll never do that again. He sold both products, but the other one was better for me.

As for the people who mount the bindings... Lifers.

The tuner? He worked on the World Cup.

Now, like shoes, maybe you don't need the best, maybe adequate is good enough for you. Then again, you may not have experienced the best to know the difference.

But most retail outlets won't pay the help an adequate wage because the public will go across the street for a penny, take another airline if it's ten dollars less, even if it took a hundred dollars to get to the damn airport. You've got to pay for service, and no one wants to.

So what we've got is stores with incomplete inventory and ignorant help. You waste your time and good luck getting what you want.

I was in Lululemon in Vail buying some shorts. I wanted to try the next size up to compare. No, they didn't have odd number sizes, only evens, that's what they told me. But I just got an e-mail from Lululemon telling me shorts were back in stock and I clicked through and found OF COURSE they make them in odd sizes, it's just that the store in Vail didn't stock them!

That's what made Tower Records so great. The breadth of inventory, they didn't only stock the greatest hits album.

As for streaming...

There used to be a rare records business. Out of print stuff. Stuff that no retailer would stock. But online, almost all of that stuff is just a click away on a streaming music service, and if not there, on YouTube. Sure, you don't have the physical product, but at this point in time... Collecting is so last century, today it's about access and experiences. There's no reason to build a monument to yourself.

Now the truth is malls are dying left and right. My experience tells you why.

The news tells us there's been an uptick in retail shopping after lockdown, but...

I just don't get it.

Then again, I never saw shopping as a sport, as entertainment.

Shopping is just another way in which the internet has eclipsed the physical world.

Then again, there's a good story in today's "New Yorker" about Cory Doctorow's new book about ensh*ttification:

http://bit.ly/4mGiLG1

Which I find worst on Amazon. The site is littered with ads and Amazon's Choice is not always the best and in truth most of the company's profits come from AWS, Amazon Web Services, to the point that the guy who ran that, Andy Jassy, now runs all of Amazon, he replaced Bezos. Furthermore, Amazon makes more money selling third party products than their own.

So a good thing never lasts.

I want to give you my money, can you just make it a bit easier?

But you're squeezing every last dollar out of the business, which makes me hate you.

I mean I go into the ski shop, I have a relationship with the help. They don't rip me off for knicks and knacks.

But I'm paying for that service.

I'm going to delve into the Skechers site now, wish me luck!


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