When I, a 29-year-old woman, dressed up as 9-year old Young Sheldon from the hit TV show last Halloween, I did not specifically intend to make new friends. But my bizarre costume encouraged strangers to skip past normal small talk and start joking with me instead, establishing seemingly instant friendships. I wondered: Is this what connection is made from — moments of shared playfulness? Maya Rossignac-Milon and Erica Boothby, two psychologists who study interpersonal relationships, say yes. Their research examines what makes people click, and they’ve found that at the root of strong friendships is a style of playful banter. By riffing together, people quickly create a feeling of “shared reality” — the sense that they inhabit a private universe. In their Times Opinion essay published on Thursday, they explain that this sort of conversation does more than jump-start friendships. “Collaborative riffs are surprisingly central to our mental well-being: They’re the glue that binds us together, adds color to our lives and gives us a sense of purpose,” they write. Here’s what we’re focusing on today:
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