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[Rubs hands] Let’s get into it, shall we?

News You Need2Know

I hear some loud voices coming from the living room…

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

  $TSLA ( ▼ 14.26% )   $NTDOF ( ▲ 0.69% )   $TGT ( ▼ 0.45% )  

Mom and dad are fighting

How did you find out? I found out because yesterday everyone I know texted me at 3:30 p.m. to say “check the Internet.” At the time, I was stranded on the hard shoulder of route 113 going south through Delaware, in a rented Audi A6 with a blown-out tire. Not my fault, officer. I was just testing the engine. I “requested roadside assistance.”

It turns out my “lug nuts” (which are apparently a real thing) had “rusted” (how many times have I heard that lately?), and the first set of roadside assisters couldn’t get the tire off. So I had to wait three hours to get it towed to another location. At about the moment that news dropped, our 4-year-old woke up in the back seat and started crying in the kind of way you know you’ll remember years later with a far-off stare and the words, “the horror, the horror.” Later an officer from the City of Eastville, Virginia put the cherry on my afternoon by stopping me for going 77 miles per hour in a 50 zone on the Eastern Shore.

“I’ve not written you up for reckless driving,” he said, making it clear that he was doing so only because he was being nice. The fine is only $208, or less than half a Nintendo Switch 2.

Still my afternoon, it turned out, was a walk in the park compared to Elon Musk and Donald Trump’s, whose argument cost Musk’s company Tesla $150 billion in market value at the stroke of a tweet (see below